Not Good Enough
by Cassy27
Summary: "Living with someone who suffers from depression isn't easy," Thor says and he wonders at which point he began to cry, "Loki was in trouble and as much as I or anyone else tried to help him, we couldn't get through to him."
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything!**

**Warnings: Character!Death. Teenage!Suicide. AU!  
**

**AN: Hello, everyone! This story was originally supposed to be another OneShot, but it turned out to be too long. That is why I have divided it in three parts (each about 4.500/5.000 words or 10 pages long), and I will post the following two parts quickly if all goes according to plan. I hope this little tale will be enjoyed even though it is sad and rather heartbreaking.**

**I want to thanks ****Greenloki****for all the help she has given me. Girl, you are amazing!**

**~ Not Good Enough ~**

**Part 1**

It shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone that Thor overslept. Every night before he goes to bed, he sets his alarm and every morning when it goes off, he nearly breaks the clock as he hits the snooze-button a dozen times too many. There used to be a time when his mother woke him, but ever since she took a job in the local hospital as a nurse three years ago, Thor had been responsible for getting up in time to get to school.

At first he had been told by his parents to look after his little brother as well, but not once did Thor have to wake Loki. It was always the other way around. Thor was two years older than his brother, but everyone knew Loki was the mature brother.

So when Thor hurries down the stairs on a sunny Thursday morning, he is not surprised to find Loki sitting at the table, the newspaper spread across the table, as he eats cereal.

"I'm late again, aren't I?" Thor sighs as he desperately tries to flatten his blond hair. He looks like a mess, but then again, when doesn't he? He would say he doesn't care about his looks, but he kinda does, certainly since he began dating Sif. But he likes the just-out-bed-look so he gives up and pours himself a glass of orange juice.

"You still have five minutes," Loki says, not once looking up from some article on oil pollution.

Thor walks to the window and gazes outside. There, on the sidewalk, stands Sif. She looks gorgeous as ever as, wearing a thin red sweater, a plain jeans-skirt and purple sneakers. Her dark brown hair is pulled into a neat ponytail, which rests over her right shoulder while her back bag hangs carelessly over her left one.

"No, I don't," Thor says to Loki even though he knows Loki isn't listening anymore. He drinks the juice before turning to his sixteen-year-old brother. "Have you seen Mom and Dad this morning, before they left for work?"

"Only briefly," Loki replies as he turns a page of the newspaper, "they told me to tell you again that you have to behave in your History class. They would be disappointed if you fail a class in your last year."

"I won't fail," Thor says, "and I'll do my best."

He absolutely hates History class. It is boring and the most wasted hour of his school day. It doesn't really matter anymore, though. Just twelve more weeks and he graduates from High School. A part of him feels guilty that he's leaving Loki behind in that god awful place, but another part is desperate to move on with his life. He can't wait to begin his first semester at the University of New York.

"Well, I'm leaving for school," he says, grabbing his backpack from the corner of the kitchen and slinging it over his shoulder. "Are you coming?"

There is a short pause. "No," Loki answers. For the first time this morning he looks up and Thor can't help but notice how Loki looks pale. It's not unusual. He always looks like a ghost, especially with his bright green eyes and shoulder length black hair. "I still need to collect my books from my room. You go ahead with Sif."

Thor frowns. He can't help but think that this is the first time Loki has come up with an absolutely terrible idea for not walking with him to school. He's usually much more creative, though this definitely isn't the first time Loki doesn't want to walk with Thor and Sif.

"Are you sure?" He asks, eying his younger brother closely, "I don't mind waiting and Sif wouldn't mind either."

Loki closes the newspaper and places his empty bowl in the sink. "I'm sure, Thor," he says with a faint smile, "now go before Sif grows impatient. You know she gets annoying when she's left to wait. It would spoil your entire day."

"True," Thor laughs, "very true." He turns around and heads for the front door when Loki calls his name. He waits until Loki says more.

"You love Sif, don't you?" Loki asks softly.

It's such a peculiar question that it takes Thor off guard. "I do," he answers after a few moment of silence, "she is my girlfriend for a reason, you know." He chuckles uncomfortable because it's too early in the morning for these types of conversations. "Why do you ask?"

"And what about me?" Loki asks, ignoring Thor's question. He is leaning against the counter, his hands steadying him as he grips the edge of the marble tightly. The skin of his knuckles has turned completely white, but Thor fails to notice this. "Do you love me?"

This time, Thor doesn't wait to answer. He knows how sensitive Loki gets about these things. "Of course I do. You're my little brother and I will always love you."

Loki nods, his raven hair falling before his face. "Then don't forget I love you, too."

Thor never takes his eyes away from him. He feels he should say something, but Loki is first. "Now go," Loki says, revealing a radiant smile when he pushes his hair out of his face, "Sif is waiting for you and besides, if I don't hurry up to fetch my books, I'll be late for school myself."

"Are you sure you don't want to walk to school with us?"

"Absolutely."

_Thor wishes he had waited._

~ 0 ~

"Thor Odinson, will there ever be a Thursday where you'll actually pay attention to what I am saying?"

Thor quickly straightens his back and turns to look to the front of the class. He can faintly hear Sif's giggle, but he ignores her. "I'm sorry, Mr. Coulson," he says, actually meaning it, "it won't happen again."

"That is what you say every time," Mr. Coulson says, rolling his eyes in the process. He turns back to his blackboard and continues to complete the timeline of World War Two. He starts to talk about Nazis and the camps, but Thor loses interest again and he gazes over his shoulder. Sif winks at him and he feels himself grow slightly red in the face.

"Pay attention, Thor," Sif whispers harshly, "we actually need to pass this class if we want to graduate."

"Do we have to?" Thor asks jokingly.

"Yes," Sif replies sternly though a grin spreads across her round, kind face, "now turn to face forward before you get _me_ in trouble."

"Thor!"

Thor cringes. Slowly he turns to look at Mr. Coulson, barely daring to meet his gaze. He can see he is working on the teacher's nerves.

"Can you repeat what I just said?" Mr. Coulson asks.

Thor shakes his head. "I can't. I'm sorry."

"Honestly, Thor," Mr. Coulson says angrily, "what am I supposed to do with you? Must I send you to Principal Fury?"

"No, that's not necessary," Thor replies quickly. The last thing he wants is to tell his parents that he got sent to Fury again. They would be very disappointed. He can't help but think about his conversation with Loki this morning. "I swear, Sir, I'll pay attention and-"

There are two knocks on the door and every head turns to the front of the class instead of looking at Thor. The door opens without permission of Coulson which surprises everyone, but it quickly makes sense when Fury enters. His one brown eye scans the room and finally lands on Thor who swallows heavily. He can't believe he will actually have to talk to Fury. Was that man psychic or something? Had he heard Coulson's threat from the hall and decided to speak to Thor anyway?

"Ah, Thor," Fury says solemnly, "could you step outside for a moment? Mr. Coulson, could you join us?"

Thor watched Coulson nod and then does the same. He can feel the gazes of his fellow classmates land on him again and they are all thinking the same: he is in trouble. Thor can't believe that this day will be his day. It's only ten in the morning and already he wants the day to be over.

He stands and walks to the front of the class, following Coulson and Fury outside to the hall. He desperately tries to think of something to say because he assumes an apology won't be enough to keep him out of detention this time. In truth, he thinks it unfair that Fury will chastise him for his behavior when Coulson never technically called him in. Couldn't he call on immunity or something?

He stops dead in his tracks when he notices his mother stands in the hall. She looks exhausted and has red circles underneath her eyes. Thor feels confused, though he no longer thinks Fury wants to scold him or something.

"Mom?" He asks carefully. He can't think of a reason why his mother would be here.

Frigga walks up to him and without warning, she embraces him tightly. Thor doesn't know why, but he returns her hug. Perhaps it's just instinct that he wants to comfort his mother even though he doesn't know what's wrong. Yet there is a small voice in the back of his head that knows the answer, but he refuses – _he_ _refuses! _– to listen to it.

"Oh, honey, I am so sorry," Frigga sobs. She lets go of her son and inhales deeply to steady herself. She places a hand over her chest and Thor thinks her heart must be racing. He wants to scream and shout even without knowing what was happening. Why didn't they just tell him? Why were they torturing him?

"Mom, tell me what is wrong?"

Frigga closes her eyes for a moment. "It's your brother, Thor," she says eventually, her voice shaking, "it's your little brother."

"Loki?" Thor pushes that little voice in the back of his head even further down. He won't listen to it because it is lying and he doesn't want to shock himself. Oh, how ridiculous he would feel then. Besides, his mother has always been so very sensitive. She cries because of the littlest of thing. "What about Loki, mother? He is here, isn't he? He's in class. He has Spanish now."

"No," Frigga says. Tears form in the corners of her eyes, but they do not role down. "No, sweetie, Loki never came to school today."

Thor says nothing. He watches his mother and he hopes she's speaking in a foreign language because he can't understand her. Nothing she says is making sense. If Loki never came to school, then where was he? Had he been in accident? Had he done something so very stupid? Thor couldn't imagine so. Loki was always such a careful kid.

"Thor," Frigga says much too quietly, "your brother is dead."

Moments pass. They must have because Thor feels frozen in place and he doesn't know whether it's still morning or evening. He feels his surroundings fade from around him and he hears the voices drown away. He isn't aware that Fury is talking to him. He doesn't understand him either and he feels so dumb. So stupid. Moronic. Idiotic. Loki could probably give more fanciful names since he has the largest vocabulary of the family. He's always reading, that kid.

Thor sighs. He doesn't know what he's doing or thinking. He's really not in control of himself. He should just pull himself together and ask again what's going on because he probably misunderstood the whole thing. Loki can't be dead. He just saw him this morning and he was fine.

He was _fine_.

Only he wasn't. Loki is never fine. He puts up a good show, that's all.

"Say something," Frigga says as she takes his hand into her own, pulling him out of his thoughts.

Thor looks down at their connected hands, but he feels nothing. "I don't… Mom," he says quietly, "I don't understand you, Mom." He doesn't start to cry and he doesn't break down, but nothing makes sense anymore. "I saw Loki just a few hours ago and we talked and he…" Darkness clouds his mind and he knows he shouldn't pay attention to it, but he can't _not_ see everything more clearly now. "Oh god, he killed himself, didn't he?"

Frigga shivers, but Thor goes on, "I should have known. I shouldn't have left him. He acted so strangely this morning with his odd questions. I shouldn't have left him!"

Frigga squeezed his hand tightly to the point it hurts. "You listen to me, Thor," she says sternly while tears keep rolling down her puffy red cheeks, "none of this is your fault, do you understand? Loki called me after you'd left and he did sound…so strange, but we could not have known. I went home as quickly as I could, but it was too late, Thor, and I found him in his room and I tried my best to resuscitate him, but I couldn't, and…" Frigga breaks into sobs, no longer able to speak.

Thor puts his arms around his mother's thin form. "Oh god," he whispers as he pulls her even closer, "oh god."

"Thor?" Fury asks. Never before has Thor heard the Director's voice like this. Never before has he appeared so kind and friendly. Compassionate. Thor doesn't care. "Thor, why don't you take your stuff from the classroom? Then you can go home with your mother."

Thor reluctantly lets go of Frigga and turns around. He barely understands what is expected of him so he is grateful when he feels Coulson's hand on his shoulder, guiding him towards the classroom. He thinks of the odd stares his friends will throw him and he barely dares to face them. He sucks in a deep breath and forces himself to act normal.

But what is normal? He doesn't remember.

He is glad he's not crying.

That thought disgusts him.

He enters the classroom and as expected, everyone turns to him, a million questions written in their eyes. Thor keeps his head down until he's at his desk and then starts to collect his stuff. You can hear a pin drop. Sif leans forward and places a warm hand on his arm.

"Thor? What's wrong?" She asks.

Thor leans towards her and plants a kiss on her lips. He knows she will be devastated by the news as well. She likes Loki, though she would never admit it to anyone. "It's Loki," he tells her, his voice barely louder than a whisper, "he's dead."

Sif is shocked and her brown eyes widen. Thor cannot stand to see the pain in her eyes right now. He cannot deal with that and with all the rest he is feeling. He doesn't even _know_ what he's feeling. He wishes he could close his eyes and wake from this nightmare, but he isn't childish enough to think his wish would come true.

Thor walks out of the classroom to find his mother speaking to Fury. "Thank you, Director Fury," she says, "your kindness means a lot."

"If there is anything we can do," he replies, "tell me."

Taking a hold of his mother's hand, he begins to walk away. He feels so small walking besides her – hand in hand – even though he is much taller than her, but he likes to feel small. He likes to feel like a three-year-old because a three-year-old is always easily comforted by his mother, isn't he? A touch is enough to make the pain go away.

But Thor isn't a three-year-old and the pain slowly makes its way to his heart, carving and cutting into it until the wounds become so large Thor doubts they'll ever heal. And even if they do, he'll have scars forever.

Scars that write out Loki's name.

~ 0 ~

"_Loki?"_

_There is loud music playing which tells Thor his brother is definitely awake, but it has been two days since he has actually seen his little brother. Loki hasn't left his bedroom at all and Thor is very worried – so are their parents – but it appears as though there is nothing that can draw Loki out of his bedroom. You would think he's hungry by now, but apparently that's not the case._

"_Loki, open the door, please," Thor pleads for the umpteenth time. He hears the music soften, but otherwise he hears no movement. Thor thinks he cannot give up because he needs to tell Loki that he's here for him, but Loki hasn't even let Frigga into his room and she is usually the first one he turns to whenever he feels troubled. Beginning to feel annoyed, Thor hardens his voice when he speaks again. "Loki, I demand you open the door!"_

"_Go away!" _

_Loki's voice sounds thick and heavy which tells Thor he's been crying for a while now. A dreadful thought invades his mind: what if Loki has been crying for two days already? He quickly pushes that idea away because it's no use. _

"_I won't go away," Thor replies angrily. He sucks in a deep breath and steadies himself. Getting angry won't be any use either. "Come on, Loki, don't lock yourself away. Do you think Sigyn would want this?"_

_That might have been a bad idea, but at least the lock turns and the door swings open. Thor – startled – takes a step back and lets his eyes fall on the thin form of his brother. Loki has always been rather small, but he is unique to say the least. Thor has always been jealous of Loki's bright green eyes and raven hair. Then again, who isn't secretly jealous of their sibling?_

_However, Loki's eyes stand extremely dull now and his skin has an unhealthy, grayish color._

"_Don't talk to me about her!" He shouts. "You didn't know her, Thor."_

_Thor waits three seconds before replying to prevent himself from saying something he would regret later on. "You're right," he says eventually. He is shocked to see the pain in his little brother's eyes and he wishes he could erase it all. He wishes he had a magic button that could make everything okay again. "I didn't know her. She was your friend and you lost her."_

"_How pretty you say it," Loki spits, "I _lost_ her. She died, Thor. Dead!"_

"_Loki…" Thor sighs heavily and for a moment he thinks he should hug him, but somehow that seems like a bad idea. He and Loki have always been close, but there isn't one time Thor can remember ever hugging him. "I really am sorry."_

_Loki lets out a sob and new tears role down his still wet cheeks. "It's just not fair," he says weakly, "nothing is fair and I hate it. I hate it all!"_

"_Which is understandable," Thor says, not knowing what else he can say. He just knows he needs to keep Loki talking because it would be better than him locked away in his room with nothing but his own thoughts and emotions. "What happened to Sigyn was terrible. I still can't believe she's gone."_

"_I hope that driver rots in hell," Loki says coldly. He turns his gaze down and shudders. "I wish she was still alive, Thor, I wish she had never had that car-accident. I just… wish I had my friend back."_

_Thor places a hand on Loki's shoulder and squeezes it. He's surprised Loki doesn't shout at him, telling him not to touch him. Instead, Loki leans into Thor's touch which helps Thor make up his mind. Impulsively he pulls Loki forward into a hug. Again he expects Loki to react violently, but he doesn't. He simply drops his head on Thor's shoulder and cries._

"_I'm here for you, Loki," Thor tells him, "I'm always here for you."_

_There is a short silence before Loki replies, "I know."_

~ 0 ~

There are two short knocks on Thor's bedroom door, calling him out of his memories. He stands from the side of his bed where he might have been sitting for a minute, fifteen minutes or maybe even an hour. He lost track of times and he doesn't even care. He does hope he looks at least partially decent, though what does it matter? He expects Sif to walk through the door, her face speaking of nothing but sadness, but he is greatly mistaken.

Instead, he finds himself looking at Victor Von Doom.

"Oh," he says, needing a moment to rearrange his thoughts. All the processes in his mind go so slowly like everything is covered with a thick layer of fog. He doesn't know if that will ever go away. "Hey, Victor, come in."

"Your mother said it was all right for me to come up here," Victor says solemnly. There isn't much left of his usually smooth and confident appearance and Thor knows why. "I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am for you loss."

"It's not just my loss," Thor replies with a sigh, "Loki was your friend."

Victor nods and for the first time Thor can see there is more to the young man standing before him. Victor is a year older than Thor and he speaks with a heavy accent since he's from some European country. Thor can't even remember which country and he feels like such a terrible person because Victor is –_ was _– Loki's best friend. Shouldn't Thor have ever expressed more interest in Loki's friends? Wouldn't that have made him a better brother?

It's strange to think Victor has lost two of his closest friends in the course of two years. First Sigyn had that awful car accident and now Loki… Thor sucks in a deep breath to steady himself.

"I still can't believe what has happened," Victor says quietly. He exhales sharply and stares at the floor for a moment, clearly not knowing what to say or do exactly. "I just don't understand and I can't… I can't wrap my head around it."

"No one can."

"I know Loki had…troubles," Victor says, "and I really tried to be there for him, but it was so hard, you know?"

Thor can only agree. "Yeah," he breathes, "it was never easy."

There is a moment of silence.

"If there is ever anything I can do…" Victor begins, but he trails off, never finishing the sentence. He doesn't have to because Thor knows exactly what he wants to tell him. "Anyway, I should get going. I'm sure you'd rather be alone with your family."

"Thank you," Thor says. He doesn't want to let Victor go without expressing some form of gratitude. After all, he was so important to his brother. "Loki was always so very fond of you. He often spoke about you and I just… I wanted to thank you for being his friend."

Victor offers him a gentle smile, but Thor can't bear to return it. A second passes before Victor turns, planning to leave Thor's room. It's there when the millions of questions rush into Thor's head and he can't bear it. He feels like he's drowning because he doesn't know. He doesn't know _anything_.

"Victor," Thor says. He waits until Victor faces him again. "Did he ever-" Tears come to his eyes, but Thor refuses to let them run down freely. He swallows back a sob and steadies himself. He inhales deeply, but his heart is still trying to leap from his chest. "Did Loki ever tell he planned do to this? Did he ever say anything that made you… wonder?"

Victor shakes his head and he almost looks torn about it. "No," he answers, "no, when I got the call from your mother I was completely shocked."

"The thing is…" Thor really doesn't know why he's telling Victor this. Shouldn't he talk to his mother about this? To Sif? She was his girlfriend after all and he loved her with all his heart. He knew he could trust and she would listen. So why was he was talking to Victor about it? "The thing is I should have known."

Victor frowns. "I don't understand."

Thor cannot hold back his tears anymore and he feels so incredibly stupid. The truth is that he never really liked Victor. He's arrogant and reckless and Thor never understood why Loki could be such close friends with him. But now there he sat on the edge of his bed, crying and _confiding_ in him.

"He said such strange things this morning," Thor says. He drops his gaze to his hands lying uselessly in his lap. "He asked me if I loved him and I said I would always love him because he's my brother and he…then he told me he loved me, too."

"You couldn't have known," Victor says.

"Loki never said things like that," Thor sighs, still not looking up, "I should have known with everything he's been through, with everything he's been struggling with. _I should have known_."

"Thor," Victor says. He remains silent until Thor finally looks up to meet his slightly stern gaze. "Don't do this, Thor, because I know this is the last thing Loki would have wanted. Don't blame yourself for what happened because that is exactly what Loki _did_. He always blamed himself for everything that wasn't his fault, didn't he? And now look where he's…" Victor stops himself when he realizes his voice began to shake.

"I know," Thor replies softly, "I know. I could never figure out what Loki was thinking or more importantly, why he was thinking it all."

There are footsteps drawing closer and a moment later, Thor's door opens wide. Sif walks in and she's momentarily taken off guard to find Victor standing before her.

"I'll leave you two," Victor says politely. He's regained his composure and Thor doesn't know how he does it. One moment he looks about to break into a thousand pieces and now he has an ever so faint smile on his lips. Thor knows it's all a façade, though. This is what Victor has always been good at. Just like Loki. "I'll see you around, Thor."

"Thank you for coming by," Thor replies.

Victor disappears from his room and Thor's eyes fall on Sif's thin figure. She looks heartbroken and she's clearly been crying. That surprises Thor because even though Sif is his girlfriend, she never spent much time with Loki. Now she has red circles around her eyes and her skin looks pale.

"I came as soon as classes ended," she tells him as she goes to sit beside him. She takes his hands into her own. "Everyone so shaken by…what happened. They all send their love. Fandral, Volstagg and Hogun promised to come by tomorrow, but they wanted to give you and your family some time." Thor knows Sif rambles when she feels sad or uncomfortable. "All the teachers are shocked, too. I think Ms. Hill was about to burst in tears when she found out what happened and she's usually such a cold person."

"You can say it out loud, Sif," Thor says and he's surprised by the sharpness in his own voice, "Loki is dead. He killed himself."

Sif squeezes his hand. "I know," she sighs, "I know and I am so sorry, Thor."

"Just…" Thor pulls her closer and he breathes in her familiar scent. "Just sit with me, please."

"Of course."

Thor is glad there is silence again because he feels he cannot handle noise. He feels his head is about to burst and his heart is about to break into tiny pieces he'll never be able to put together again. He's afraid to break down because what if he can never recover? What if he remains stuck in an eternal personal hell?

He thinks this is exactly what Loki has been living in for so long.

He cries and he doesn't care that his heart is starting to crumble.

Because his brother is dead and he's all alone.

No matter who is with him, he still remains completely and irrevocably _alone_.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything!**

**Warnings: Character!Death. Self!Harm. Teenage!Suicide. AU!**

**AN: Thanks to those who reviewed, alerted and favorite this story! Your support means the world to me. It truly does because writing this story wasn't easy. But I come with the second chapter and I hope it will be enjoyed as well. I know this story is hard and heartbreaking, but I would still love to hear your opinion on it. There is only one more part after this one. I will try and update it as quickly as possible.**

**Greenloki****, you are amazing for all the help you have given me!**

**~ Not Good Enough ~**

**Part 2**

_Thor doesn't bother to knock before he enters Loki's room and he finds his little brother lying in bed with the curtains half closed. The little sunlight that manages to find its way into the room casts everything in a soft orange glow. For a moment he thinks Loki is sleeping, but his younger brother stirs to life. _

_Rolling his eyes, Thor makes his way across the room – trying not to trip over everything that lays on the floor – and throws open the curtains, letting in all of the bright sunlight. The orange glow instantly turns yellow and even Thor has to admit it's very bright._

"_Don't do that," Loki moans as he covers his face with his arms, "the light hurts my eyes."_

"_It's almost noon," Thor counters. He places his hands to his sides and looks down at Loki. "If Mom comes back from the hair dresser and she finds you still in bed, she'll be mad, Loki, and I don't think you want that."_

_Thor thinks he hears Loki curse under his breath, but he can't be sure because his mouth is covered by his arm as well. Three seconds pass before Loki speaks up. "What do you want anyway?" Slowly, he drags himself up until he's sitting on the edge of his bed. He's still wearing the same clothes he wore yesterday and Thor can't help but be extremely worried. It's not the first time Loki has been lying in bed for days, refusing to come out of his room. He wonders if this another one of his fits._

"_I have an assignment for geography and I need coloring pencils," he explains when Loki stares at him impatiently, "obviously, I'm not a three-year-old and I don't have coloring pencils. I thought perhaps you still had a few lying around."_

_Loki narrows his eyes. "Are you saying I am a three-year-old?"_

"_No," Thor says angrily. He really isn't in the mood for Loki's obsessive games. He just wants the pencils so he can finish the assignment and get to Sif. It's such a wonderful day outside and he doesn't want to waste it working for school or dealing with Loki's mood. "Do you have pencils or not?"_

"_Yeah, yeah. There's no need for politeness." Loki stands and walks to his desk which is covered with a pile of books, magazines and syllabi. He's usually a very neat person so it surprises Thor to find Loki's room is actually a mess. Clothes are scattered all over the floor, his desk is a mess and the sheets of his bed haven't been changed in weeks. _

_Again, Thor feels his worry grow, but then he thinks of Sif. He really wants to see her and the truth is that he doesn't want to be concerned about Loki right now. Besides, isn't that their parents' task?_

_Loki grabs a few pencils out of the top drawer of his desk and hands them to Thor who accepts them gratefully. Then his eyes fall on Loki's wrist and he instantly forgets about Sif. In the blink of an eye he turns into big-brother-mode. He doesn't care about the school assignment anymore and he certainly doesn't care about the lovely weather outside._

"_Loki, what happened to your wrist?"_

_It's as if Thor can actually see walls erect around Loki's thoughts and emotions. His green eyes darken and his body grows tense. "Nothing," he snaps. He turns and drops down on his bed again. "You have the stupid coloring pencils, Thor, now go."_

"_No," Thor says stubbornly, "you're hurt. You have a bandage around your wrist. What happened?"_

_Loki sits up again and narrows his eyes. He cocks his head a little to the left which makes him appear almost menacing. Thor has seen his brother do this a hundred times already so he knows exactly what it means. Loki is about to become very angry, but Thor decides to ignore it. He only wants to make sure he's all right and he feels insulted that Loki doesn't understand that._

"_I said it's nothing, Thor, so leave it," Loki says in a low voice._

_Everyone knows Loki can be stubborn, but few know Thor could be equally as headstrong. They had the same genes after all. They were brothers, yet everyone was always so surprised how much they look like each other. _

"_I want to know what happened, Loki," he says authoratively, "so I'm not going to 'leave it' as you put it."_

_Thor knows it's a stupid move, but he does it anyway. He swiftly and easily grabs Loki's hand and quickly pushes his long sleeve up to his elbow. He can now clearly see the white bandage around Loki's wrist and he can't help but feel relieved it's only the left wrist. His right one seems fine. _

_Loki pulls his hand free again and he furiously shoves Thor away._

_Thor loses balance and stumbles back, but he doesn't fall._

"_I told you to leave it!" Loki shouts. His green eyes stand wild and his lips have turned ghostly pale. "Get out! Get out! GET OUT!"_

_Thor has never seen Loki freak out like this. He's seen him mad and furious before, but never like…_this. _He's completely caught off guard and for a moment he freezes. He doesn't know what to do. He doesn't want to leave Loki alone now._

"_I said get out!" Loki continues to shout frantically. "Get out! GET OUT!"_

_Thor doesn't know why he does it, but he spins around and sprints out of Loki's room. As soon as he stands in the hall, the door slams shut behind him. Thor feels his heart racing in his chest and his hands tremble slightly. He has absolutely no idea what just happened and he doesn't know what to do._

_So he stands there for a moment – catching his breath – before returning to his own bedroom. He sits down at his desk and starts his geography assignment. He knows he'll never pass because his thoughts are with Loki all the time. He just knows he has to do something, but…he never knows what to do when Loki acts like that._

~ 0 ~

"Is there anything I can get you before I go?" Sif asks. She is sitting next to Thor on the edge of his bed, but she is ready to leave since it's almost ten in the evening. Thor knows her parents will wonder where she is, but then he thinks they probably won't mind her staying here so late. He knows the entire town has probably heard by now of what has happened.

"I forgot to ask," Thor says, looking directly into Sif's concerned blue eyes, "have you brought any homework for me?"

Sif smiles sadly and presses a quick kiss against his cheek. "Of course I haven't," she replies, appearing surprised by Thor's question, "no teacher would give you homework now, Thor. That would be cruel."

"It wouldn't be," Thor sighs, dropping his gaze to their connected hands, "in fact, homework would keep me busy for a while. I'd do anything not to think of…" He can't say it. He can't even believe he doesn't want to think about Loki right now because then he'll only wonder what he was thinking or how he felt in his last moments of life. He's actually exhausted, but he knows he won't sleep tonight.

Sif places a hand on Thor's cheek and forces him to look up at her. "I know you are hurting," she says quietly, "you've barely said anything since I got here. I know you prefer silence right now and I'm glad you want to be with me, but keeping it all bottled up inside isn't going to help."

"There is nothing I can say to make it all better," Thor counters, surprised to hear anger in his voice, "Loki isn't coming back, is he? I don't want to talk about anything, because none of it matters."

"It does," Sif replies. She sounds sad and compassionate and she clearly doesn't care about Thor's angry reaction. "Loki's your brother – was your brother, and I know how much you loved him. I know you had such…difficult times lately, but you still loved him and _that_ matters."

Thor closes his eyes and enjoys the feeling of Sif's hands in his. He squeezes them gently, reminding him that he's not alone. "Difficult times," he echoes, "you don't understand, Sif, no one does."

"Then explain it to me," she replies. She moves to sit closer to Thor and lovingly pushes back a strand of blond hair behind his ear. She goes on to caress his cheek with her thumb. "Tell me what you are thinking."

"No one knows what it is like," he says, leaning into Sif's touch and thanking the heavens for such an incredible woman. He doesn't know what he would do without her. "Living with someone who suffers from depression isn't easy. People always say it's just a phase or that he'll get passed it or the worst of all, they say it's just a cry for attention."

Sif says nothing, but she doesn't have to. Thor knows she is listening to his every word and he hates to admit that it actually feels good to get some of this off of his chest.

"Loki was in trouble," he continues and he wonders at which point he began to cry, "and as much as I or anyone else tried to help him, we couldn't get through to him. He was so sad all the time and there was nothing left of that happy, carefree little kid I grew up with. The only thing he saw was sadness and darkness, and my parents and I could only stand by and watch him suffer."

"You tried everything you could," Sif tells him.

"I did," Thor sobs, "and it was _pointless_! I tried to talk to him, I tried to make him feel something else than that horrifying desperation. My parents did everything within their power, too. They even forced him to see a psychologist and again, it was all pointless! And now I am left here with this empty feeling and I can't help but think…"

Sif swallows heavily – Thor can hear it – and finally he dares to look up. His blue eyes are filled with tears and he can barely make out the expression on Sif's face. He's upsetting her – at least he thinks he is because he can't see her face properly.

"What do you think, Thor?" Sif asks ever so kindly.

"Was I not good enough?" Thor feels his sadness being replaced with fury and hopelessness. Never before has he experienced emotions so strongly and he just doesn't know what to do with himself. He's grateful that Sif pulls him into her arms. "Wasn't I not worth living for?"

"Of course you're worth living for," Sif sooths him, rubbing circles in his back, "and you know Loki loved you more than anything in the world, but like you said, Thor, he was in a bad place. Please don't be angry with your brother, love, because you'll never be able to forgive yourself."

Thor knows what Sif is telling him, but he can barely comprehend it. "I'm not angry," he says through his tears, "I just don't know what to do with myself."

"I'll stay with you tonight," Sif tells him, finally releasing him from her tight embrace. "My parents won't mind and I know your parents won't mind either. I'll stay with you because you shouldn't be alone right now."

"Thank you, Sif," Thor sighs. He would smile at her, but he can't. He feels exhausted and empty and he just wants to fall into a deep, dreamless sleep. He knows that won't happen, though. From now on, Loki will be all he dreams about. But they won't be dreams. They'll be nightmares because when he wakes, he'll remember the brother he lost and will never see again.

~ 0 ~

_There is absolutely nothing on TV and Thor feels himself longing to go outside, but he refuses. He already called Sif to tell her he won't be coming over today, certainly not after the whole ordeal with Loki. It is a miracle Thor managed to complete his assignment for geography even though he couldn't stop thinking about how upset his brother had been._

_He knows Loki has issues – ones he'll never understand – but he's never been shouted at. He considers going upstairs to talk to him, but he thinks Loki won't open up to him anyway. It's a miracle Loki agrees to go to a psychiatrist once every week and that is a good thing. At least he gets to talk about whatever troubles him there and Thor thinks Loki doesn't want to talk about it here, too._

_Zapping through the dozens of channels, Thor sighs and wishes his mother was home. She would know what to do. She always does. But Odin has gone to attend some boring conference and Frigga had decided to join him. They would return in two days' time and Thor understands they need some time together. Their lives aren't easy – and that isn't Loki's fault! – because being married for over twenty years causes their marriage to have become a drag. This is their chance to spend some precious time together and of course Thor promised to look after Loki._

_He wouldn't break his promise. That's why after Loki's outburst, Thor is afraid to leave the house. He is afraid to leave his brother alone._

_The door to the living room opens and Thor instantly turns to see Loki enter. He looks tired – even though he spent almost two days locked away in his room, lying in bed – and remorseful. There was a time Thor thought he knew everything about his brother, but that time is long gone. It's been long since he has been able to read Loki's emotions so clearly in his eyes._

"_Hi," Thor says awkwardly. Loki is still staring at him and Thor is beginning to think another shouting-match will ensue._

"_Hi," Loki replies quietly. He moves across the living room and drops down next to Thor on the couch. "I came to…" He sighs heavily, his eyes falling in the floor. "I came to apologize."_

_Thor switches off the TV and turns all his attention to his little brother. They don't have the easiest relationship, but still Thor can't help but feel extremely protective of him. If he could, he would take all Loki's troubles away. He would absorb them and suffer through them himself if that would make Loki feel better._

"_You don't have to apologize," Thor replies kindly, "I invaded your privacy and I should never have grabbed your arm like that."_

"_You were worried," Loki argues, his voice gaining strength, "which I completely understand because I know…I can act odd."_

_Thor didn't bother to reply to that. He wasn't going to say Loki was wrong because that would be a lie and Loki would know he was lying._

"_Can you promise me not to tell mom?" Loki asks suddenly. His eyes fall heavily on Thor who almost cringes away from his brother. He really doesn't want to make such a promise. After all, shouldn't their parents know? Shouldn't they be aware of this…new development? "She and dad would only worry to death, Thor, and I want to spare them that."_

_Thor inhales deeply. "Show me first," he says, "show me your wrist."_

_Loki presses his lips together._

"_I just want to see how bad it is," Thor explains, "I want to see if the bandages don't need changing or if the wounds don't need cleaning. Honestly, Loki, I'm just trying to take care of you so will you please let me?"_

_A moment of silence passes, but eventually, Loki stretches out his left arm. He pulls back the sleeve and removes the thin, white bandage. When he turns his arm – the palm of his hand now facing upwards – Thor feels sick in his stomach when he sees two deep cuts. They're relatively new, but the edges of the sharp cuts are starting to heal. Thor can tell a razor – or something as equally sharp – has been used and he faintly wonders if he should hide all sharp objects now._

"_I won't do it again," Loki says when Thor remains quiet, "I was just…in a bad place and I made a bad decision."_

"_You don't know that," Thor replies and he's surprised that his voice is trembling, "you say now that you won't cut yourself a second time, but what if you're in a bad place again? We all know that will happen and then you might want to…" He can't even finish his sentence. He just doesn't understand and that angers him more than anything. "Why, Loki?"_

"_You know I can't explain why," Loki says angrily. He drops his injured wrist and leans back into the couch. He looks too thin and pale and Thor just wants to grab him, force food down his throat and drag him outside for some healthy sunlight. Of course he would never actually do that, but it's a thought that crosses his mind more than once. "It's not that simply and you wouldn't understand."_

"_Try me," Thor says desperately. He would give anything to have this conversation with his brother because he would give everything to understand him. "I'm listening, Loki, and I might just be able to help."_

_Loki stares at him, his green eyes guarded. "It's like…" He licks his lips and Thor knows his mind is racing. "It's like being stuck in a pit. You sit there on the cold, damp ground in a narrow space and you look up and you see sunlight."_

_Thor has no idea what Loki is talking about, but he listens like he said he would and he tries his best to understand. That's all he _can_ do after all. Does that make him a good brother? He really hopes it does because he wants Loki to know Thor is here for him._

"_You know that if you reach that sunlight," Loki continues softly, "you'll be happy. You'll be able to forget about all the sadness and crap you've been feeling. You'll be rid of the depression so you start to climb, but it's difficult because the walls are very smooth. But you're slowly getting to the surface and sometimes you can feel the warmth of the sun on your skin and you think you're almost there. You're almost free."_

_Thor watched his brother, mesmerized. He can see Loki isn't really present in the moment anymore, but that doesn't matter. He's talking and that's good so Thor keeps silent and he listens._

"_And then you lose grip and you fall." Loki's gaze focuses on Thor, his eyes shining brilliantly with unshed tears. "You would think you just fall to the same bottom again, but that's not always so. At times you fall and there isn't a bottom. You just keep falling until a moment comes where you can't see the surface anymore. That's when you wonder why you even try and you lose all motivation. You lose all hope. You wonder why you would even bother climbing because you know you'll just fall again."_

_Silence fills the room and Thor can't stand it._

"_I don't know what to say."_

"_Promise me you won't tell mom about the cuts," Loki says again, "please promise me."_

"_Can you promise not to do it again?" A little voice in the back of his head tells him never to trust a promise made by Loki. He might mean it now, but whenever the darkness consumes him – the sadness, loneliness, frustration, exhaustion, helplessness, hopelessness and all other things Loki gets overwhelmed by – he can't be held responsible for his actions._

"_I promise," Loki says determinedly._

"_Then you have my word," Thor tells him, knowing he will regret it someday, "I promise."_

~ 0 ~

The days pass, but Thor barely has any notion of time. If anything, he feels time has stopped. _No_. Time has restarted. It's no longer Monday or Tuesday. It's no longer April or May. None of that matters. It's simply day one without Loki. Day two without Loki. Day three without Loki. Day four. Day five.

Thor hates day six. All possibilities at denial are gone because today was the funeral and Thor can no longer imagine Loki alive. He can no longer deceive himself by thinking his little brother has gone on a vacation or he is in school or he's just in his room. No, he witnessed the hundreds of sad faces. He witnessed the tears and the regrets. He witnessed his mother breakdown, her sobbing until she couldn't breathe anymore. He witnessed his father's silent crying and his aunts and uncles' shock. He witnessed friends' disbelief.

Almost everyone from school had been present and Thor hated it. Most had never spoken him _or_ Loki, so why had they even been there? A soft voice in his head tells him they just wanted to express their sympathies, sorrow and compassion. Still, Thor rather not cried in front of his teachers and acquaintances, but he hadn't been able to stop himself.

But the funeral is over now and everyone has gone home. Thor is sitting on the couch, staring at the black screen of the television. His mother comes to sit next to him and she takes his hand into her own. When Thor looks up to meet her usually bright and cherry eyes, he now finds them dark and dull. She's obviously exhausted and heartbroken, but when Thor's meets her gaze, she offers him a smile.

"How are you, my love?" She asks. Even her voice has lost all its strength.

Thor doesn't know why, but he starts to cry again. Of course he knows _why_, but he doesn't know why he starts to cry _now_. He feels he's been crying for hours already – which may well be true – but never before has he longed so much for his mother's comfort, for her touch and her love. He wants her tell him everything will be okay and that Loki will be okay. He knows that won't happen, though, and that hurts him more than anything in the world.

"Oh, Thor," Frigga sighs. She pulls him into his arms and buries her face in his golden hair. "It's okay, sweetie, it's all going to be okay."

Thor desperately wants to believe her, but the lies in her voice are so awfully obvious. "No, it's not," he says. He isn't angry. He's just drained. "It won't be okay, mom."

Frigga hushes him, her hand caressing his hair. She says nothing and Thor loves her for it. He just wants to sit there in his mother's arms and for a moment lose himself. Just for once he doesn't want to care about staying strong or keeping up a façade. Just _once _he wants to let all his anger and pain out because if he keeps it in any longer, he will burst.

"I won't lie," Frigga says after a while. Thor doesn't know whether five minutes or fifty have passed. "Dark and difficult times lie ahead, but we have to stick together, Thor. We can survive this, but only as a family."

Thor pulls himself out of his mother's arms. He believes her this time. "Do you blame him?" He asks, knowing that his questions might hurt her, but he's overwhelmed with so many questions and he wants answers. "Are you anger with Loki for what he did?"

Slowly Frigga nods and it's a reaction Thor hadn't expected. "I am," she confesses grievously. She sighs and lowers her gaze. "There are moments I want to shout and yell and then I remember…Loki is gone. Then I feel guilty and despicable for feeling angry in the first place." When she meets Thor's gaze again, she looks ashamed. "He was my little boy and somehow, he lost all courage and will to live. I'm devastated and drained. I feel lost and empty."

"Me, too," Thor admits, "but, mom?"

Frigga blinks and tears role down her cheeks.

"You're a really great mom," Thor tells her, needing to know that she's aware of this. He realizes he's still holding her hands in his own, so he gently squeezes them. It's such a simple gesture, but it's not meaningless. "You're the greatest mom Loki and I could have ever gotten."

"Oh, Thor," Frigga sobs, "thank you."

"You didn't fail," he continues, "I want you to know that. You did not fail. Loki loved you and even with all the horribleness he felt, he still put you first. He was always so worried about you. Don't ever forget that."

Frigga leans forward and presses a kiss against Thor's cheek. "I love you," she whispers, "don't ever forget that."

Thor nods. "I love you, too."

~ 0 ~

_The news ends and Thor instantly loses interest in the TV. It's only a little over eight in the evening, but it has been a long day and Thor is actually tired. He had football practice this afternoon and it had been the first training of the season. Thor is a little out of shape, but he swears he would change that. Now he is sitting on the couch, the muscles of his legs aching slightly._

"_So how was your day, Loki?" Frigga asks. She is leaning against Odin, her head resting on his shoulder. She looks tired as well which isn't surprising since she just pulled a double shift at work. "Thor told me you went out with Victor this afternoon."_

"_Yes," Loki answers truthfully, "we didn't do anything special, though. We just went to the park, had some ice cream and then went back to his place to watch a movie. His mother made us some ice tea which was nice."_

"_I'm really glad you've had a wonderful afternoon," Frigga replies, a smile on her face. Thor can see in his eyes that she means it one hundred percent. Then again, no one can remember the last time Loki had a…_carefree_ afternoon, though Thor doubts it was completely carefree. There is only guessing what goes on inside Loki's mind, but Thor doubts it's anything good._

"_It was fun," Loki says. He throws his family a smile, but Thor thinks it never reaches his green eyes._

"_I'm relieved," Frigga replies. She takes Odin's hand into her own. It's a gesture she often does and it reminds Thor that his parents love each other. "You know Victor is so worried about you. We all are."_

_Loki nods. His expression doesn't change. "I know."_

_The next program starts – Frigga's favorite – and the living room goes silent except for the tune of the starting program. Thor can't help but keep his eyes trained on Loki who is now looking down. His black hair falls before his eyes and Thor knows a thousand thoughts are currently crushing his little brother. He wishes he knew what does thoughts entailed exactly, but he knows now that he'll never get an answer to that question._

_Thor doesn't know how much time passes, but eventually, Frigga fall asleep and Odin is transfixed on the program. But Thor can't help it. He keeps looking at Loki, though his gaze always falls away whenever Loki looks up. Eventually, Loki excuses himself, stands and walks out of the living room. Both Thor and Odin stare at the departing sixteen-year-old. _

"_I'm sure he's fine, Dad," Thor says, noticing the extreme concern in his father's eyes, "he's probably just tired."_

"_I should check on him," Odin says. _

_But Thor finds that his mother is sleeping so deeply against Odin's figure and he doesn't want to disturb her rest. She has another shift at work tomorrow after all so she should get all the sleep she can get._

"_It's fine," Thor says quickly as he stands, "I'll go check on him."_

_Odin nods and throws his oldest son a grateful smile. Thor doesn't wait for his father to say something and he instantly exits the living room as well. He doesn't know why he does it, but he tries not to make any sound as he ascends the staircase. It's getting late, but the sun hasn't set completely yet, casting the entire house in an orange sort of glow._

_Thor reaches the corridor and gazes to his left. He sees the closed doors of his own bedroom and a walk-in-closet. To his right is his parent's bedroom. Loki's room is closest to him, but the door stands open and Thor can see it's empty. It's easy to deduce where Loki is then. In stocking feet, he walks over the laminate floor and he feels like a stalker._

_When he reaches the bathroom door, he finds it ajar and Thor carefully peeks inside. He doesn't know what to except and he doesn't even know why he's being so secretive. Perhaps he just wants to see what Loki is doing now that he thinks no one is watching him. When Thor's blue gaze finally lands on his brother's form, he feels his breath hitch inside his chest._

_Without hesitating, he pushes open the door completely and almost storms into the bathroom. Loki is startled and takes a step back from the sink while his entire body tenses._

"_What are you doing?" Thor demands to know. He makes sure his voice is strong and angry, but he also keeps it hushed. He doesn't want their parents to hear him downstairs._

"_Nothing," Loki answers without hesitating, "I swear, Thor, it's nothing."_

_Thor's eyes fall to Loki's right hand which is still holding the razor. He doesn't have to say anything to make his message clear. Loki turns slightly pale and – if Thor's isn't mistaken – he also looks ashamed._

"_I wasn't going to hurt myself again," the youngest Odinson mumbles, "I was just…"_

"_Just what?" Thor swears to himself not to let this matter slide so easily. He is Loki's big brother and that means he has a duty. He has to look after him because that's what he's always done. Ever since Loki was born, Thor has felt it was his brotherly obligation to look after him. It's why he soothed him when he lay crying in his crib because Frigga couldn't pick him up for some reason. It's why he comforted him when he'd fallen from the swing and why he hugged him because he missed their Mom and Dad who had gone to work. Now, even though they were teenagers, Thor still looks after Loki because now more than ever he is needed._

_When Loki stays quiet, Thor speaks again, "You promised me you wouldn't cut yourself again. You _promised_, Loki."_

"_I know," Loki sighs, "and I'm sorry."_

"_Give it here," Thor says. He extends his hand and for a moment he thinks Loki will protest, but Loki instantly hands over the razor. "I thought you had such a wonderful day," he adds, "so why the sudden change?"_

_Silence._

_Thor can't stand it._

"_Tell me, Loki," Thor presses on, "because I'm at a loss here. You had a great afternoon with Victor and I know for a fact that Victor enjoyed himself, too."_

"_Oh, don't you get it, Thor?" Loki suddenly lashes out. It's one of the very few times that Thor sees anger and helplessness in Loki's gaze. "He just wanted to check on me. Everyone is just keeping an eye out for me because you heard Mom. Everyone is _so _worried about me!"_

_Honestly, Thor doesn't know what to do and he knows he should keep his mouth shut at this point, but he can't stop himself. "And that's a bad thing?" He asks fiercely. "Shouldn't you be pleased that everyone is concerned? Shouldn't that be proof that you matter to us? I know you feel alone in the world, Loki, but isn't this definite proof that you're wrong?"_

_Loki balls his hands into fists. "You know it's not like that," he snaps at Thor, "I have tried to explain it a million times before, but you just don't get it! You don't get the fact that the world is tiring and exhausting. You don't understand what it's like to feel sad all the time, or to feel hopeless and helpless. You don't know what it's like to fall asleep and hope you won't wake in the morning- to think what it would be like to just cease to exist!"_

_Thor feels as if all the air has been knocked from his lungs. Loki's words hit him like a fists and he's momentarily stunned. "That's what you've been thinking?" He asks quietly. "You want to fall asleep and never wake?"_

_Loki inhales deeply while he lowers his gaze. "Yes," he answers as if he is confessing to the most horrible crime in world, "but not every night, Thor."_

"_Still," Thor replies, feeling horrified. He is lost for words and he hates it. He wants to say something that will make it all better, but he's already seen too much of the consequences of Loki's depression to know that's possible. Nothing he says will make a difference. Or perhaps it does, but then he must make sure he says just the right thing and that is impossible. "Loki, what can I do?"_

_Loki shakes his head, his green eyes connecting with Thor's again. "You know it doesn't work like that," he says, "but I'm really happy you're my brother, Thor, I hope you know that."_

_There are footsteps outside of the bathroom and when Thor spins around, he sees Odin walk into his view. He looks old and weary and terribly concerned. "Is everything okay in here?"_

_Thor knows he should say something, but Loki beats him to it._

"_I'm okay, Dad," he tells Odin, "I'm just tired so I'm going to bed."_

_There is a heavy pause._

"_I think we're all tired," Thor eventually says, "I'm going to bed, too."_

_Odin's gaze lands on Loki first and then moves to Thor. Clearly he knows he's being lied to, but he doesn't say anything. He doesn't burst with anger or reprimands his sons for lying to his face. Instead, he smiles softly. It's something Thor has never seen him do._

"_You know I am here for you, boys, don't you?" He asks._

"_Of course," Thor replies without thinking. For a short second, he thinks his father looks insecure, powerless, but the moment changes so quickly and Odin turns into a stoic, stern person again. "Goodnight, Dad."_

"_Goodnight," Odin replies._

_When Odin has left them, Thor turns to face Loki who looks grateful. "Thank you, Thor," he says, "for not telling Dad. I'm just going to bed now and I'm sure everything will be better in the morning."_

"_Yeah," Thor replies, knowing the terribly lie he's about to say, "I'm sure everything will be all right."_


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything!**

**Warnings: Character!Death. ****AU!**

**AN: I come with the third and final part of this story. I want to thank everyone who has reviewed or made this story a favorite. Your support means much to me! Honestly, I love you guys! But here is the final part and I hope it will be enjoyed. I want to thank ****Greenloki**__**for all the help she has given me with this story!**

**~ Not Good Enough ~**

**Part 3**

It takes Thor fourteen days to find the courage to return to school. It's not that he is afraid to face his friends or the teachers. He knows they will be compassionate and empathic. It is exactly that which he dreads. It has been hard living without his little brother for the past two weeks and he'll never get used to the idea of never seeing Loki again, but returning to school feels like another challenge he must face. He must listen to people telling him how sorry they are for his loss and he must smile politely and thank them.

Thor doesn't want to smile at all. He doesn't want to thank anyone. In fact, he doesn't know if he can find enough courage to face people already, but he also knows he can't bear another day at home. He can't bear to see his mother cry every few minutes. He can't bear to listen to his father's silence. Thor feels the need to get out of the house for a few hours.

So Thor goes to school and he puts up a brave façade. He thanks everyone who comes to talk to him and he thanks them for their support. The only reason why he doesn't break down – be it bursting with anger and fury or with tears – is because Sif doesn't leave his side. She keeps hold of his hand and embraces him when Thor needs a moment to collect his thoughts.

He survives the first period. He listens to the teacher ramble on about Biology and he ignores the occasional worried glances that are thrown his way. He writes down as much as he can and he thinks he has never taken so many notes before. He's glad he can keep his mind occupied, though, and he's glad Sif is sitting at his side, equally absorbed by the teacher's words.

It's only when they make their way to the second class on that Thursday that Thor grows hesitant. He enters the classroom and takes his usual seat. Sif goes to sit behind him and Thor already wishes she could sit next to him instead. When he glances beside him, he finds Fandral's kind eyes on him. Thor throws him a faint smile.

When Mr. Coulson enters, every student grows silent. They all turn their attention to the front of the class. Coulson begins to introduce today's subject, but his eyes are mostly fixed on Thor. It is probably a normal reaction, but Thor hates it. He feels scrutinized and it's harder to keep his thoughts fixed on the subject of World War Two. He can't help but think that last time he sat here, he received the most terrible news.

He remembers Director Fury knocking on the door. He remembers finding his mother standing outside with red circles around her eyes and tears still streaming down her face. He thinks of the last morning he shared with Loki. It is strange how one name can make someone's heart actually contract painfully. Thor finds it harder to breathe, but he stays calm and he tries to think of something else.

But memories are flooding his mind and he can't help but remember one morning only a few weeks ago.

~ 0 ~

_Thor hates himself and he tries to tell himself over and over again that he did the right thing, but he still hates himself for it. He made a promise to his brother, but he broke it. For a moment he thinks it's only fair. Loki broke the first promise and now he breaks his. In some ways, it's only payback. Thor can't ever consider it payback. He simply knows he shouldn't have made the promise in the first place._

_And so he hates himself because he is the most terrible brother in the world._

_When footsteps announce the arrival of Loki, Thor sits up straighter and throws his parents a quick glance. Frigga looks tired and worried. Her hands are folded together and lay motionless on the smooth table surface. Odin appears weary and burdened. His blue eyes are focused entirely on his wife and Thor sees that he is thinking of taking Frigga's hands into his own. Somehow he decides against it._

_It's only when he looks at the fourth person present in the room that Thor feels slightly sick to his stomach. He has met Doctor Banner before, but he had hoped never to see that man again. He thinks Banner is a nice and very smart guy, but he has always been…proof. He was exclusive proof that Loki needs help his family can't offer._

_The footsteps draw closer and after a short moment, Loki enters the kitchen, finding his family and Doctor Banner seated around the table. He stops dead in his tracks, his green gaze growing cautious. His shoulders grow tense and he presses his lips together into a fine line. __Thor wishes he can assure his brother that everything will be okay, but he can't even bring himself to open his mouth. __Guilt overwhelms his mind and for a moment, Thor believes he is drowning._

"_What's this?" Loki asks accusingly when no one speaks. He still stands before the open door and Thor can see that Loki is considering to just make a run for it. "Why is he here?" He's clearly referring to Doctor Banner. _

"_Sweetie," Frigga begins, her voice gentle and loving, "why don't you sit with us for a while. I believe we need to talk about things."_

_Loki doesn't move one inch. His dark green gaze suddenly land on Thor and his eyes narrow. Thor wishes he could become invisible. __He wishes he can withdraw himself from his brother's scornful gaze. __His parents had given him a choice on whether or not he wanted to be here, but Thor only found it just that he sit with them since he had been the one to betray Loki in the first place._

"_I'm sorry, brother," Thor says after a short silence. __He thinks that if he apologizes he will feel better, but he is wrong. __Very wrong._

_When Loki speaks, his voice isn't hard and spiteful. Instead he sounds defeated and wounded. "But you promised."_

"_Loki, your brother only wants to help you," Banner says. He leans forward and pulls back a chair and gestures for Loki to take a seat. Thor watches the struggle inside Loki's eyes, but eventually Loki just goes to sit at the table. He is no longer looking at Thor. "Your family is very worried," Banner continues, "and that is why they called me."_

"_There is nothing to be worried about," Loki says coldly. His shoulders are still very tense and his eyes focus on everything but the faces of his family. Thor hates to see his brother so uncomfortable and hurt. "Honestly, Thor overreacted. That's all."_

"_I didn't overreact," Thor replies calmly. Banner advised them not to get angry or annoyed with Loki and Thor was planning not to. He truly just wants to help his brother. That wasn't a crime, was it? No one but Loki blamed him for breaking his promise after all. "A few days ago, you basically told me you didn't want to live anymore."_

_Thor hadn't thought it possible, but Loki's gaze darkens even more. "Like I said," he sneers, "you overreacted."_

"_I only wanted to help," Thor replies._

"_You promised!" Loki suddenly shouts. He jumps up from his seat, knocking the chair over in the process. "You promised, Thor, and you betrayed me!"_

"_Loki, calm yourself," Odin says sternly, yet distraught as well. His blue eyes stand wide and Thor notices only now that he has finally taken hold of Frigga's hands. "Please sit down again."_

_Loki hesitates. He is breathing hard and erratic and his hands are shaking. Eventually, he listens to their father, though. He grabs the chair, sets it up straight, and sits down. He is staring defiantly at everyone present in the room and Thor can't help think that Loki has cause this time. Did he betray him? No, it couldn't be. They were only trying to help him._

"_Loki, we are all here because we care about you," Banner says. He is smiling faintly and reassuringly. "Everyone present in this room loves you and they only want to help. They have told me that you've been struggling again."_

_Loki looks away and he doesn't answer._

"_Loki, sweetie," Frigga begins. She already has tears in her eyes and Thor sees how her grip on Odin's hands tightens. "You have to understand that we only want what is best for you. Your father and I have been talking to Doctor Banner and we believe it is best if you…" She swallows heavily, clearly pained by her own words. Thor knows already why she's struggling. He knows what is going to follow. "We believe it is best if you return to the hospital for a few days."_

_Silence._

_Loki's eyes fill with horror and shock. He appears condemned and fearful. Only seconds ago, he had been avoiding eye-contact, but now he is staring directly into his mother's sorrowful eyes. "What?" He breathes, hard. "No, I don't want to return to the hospital."_

"_It's for the best, Loki," Odin adds. His voice is soft and caring. Thor can't bear to see his father so open and vulnerable. Odin is supposed to be a stern, intimidating man, but now he resembles nothing but an old, weary man. "We're afraid of what can happen to you, son, and I hope you understand that we are only doing what is the best solution for you."_

"_Then don't send me there," Loki says. He is crying and it pains Thor to see the raw hopelessness in his little brother's eyes. "Please don't send me there, Dad. I promise I won't hurt myself anymore. I promise I won't think such thoughts anymore. Please!"_

_Thor directs his gaze down to his hands. He feels an incredibly weight on his shoulders and it's crushing him. He feels his nails digging into his skin. He feels the injustice of the world and he hates it. Tears threaten to invade his eyes, but he refuses to succumb to his own torn emotions. He wishes all of this would go away. He wishes he had never made any promises. He wishes they had never met Doctor Banner. He wishes…he wishes his brother was normal._

_He hates himself even more now._

"_You didn't tell them about that, did you, Thor?" Loki asks, his voice soft and drained. "You didn't tell them I hurt myself, huh?"_

_Thor doesn't trust his voice. He shakes his head instead._

"_Oh, Loki," Frigga sighs. More tears stream down her face._

"_Don't cry, Mom," Loki tells her. He reaches across the table and places a hand on top of hers and Odin's. It is such an odd gesture, Thor finds, because Loki never really shows his love for their parents like this. They hug enough and they tell each other they love each other, but never before has Loki acted so delicately. "Please don't cry," he repeats, "I hate to see you like this."_

"_And I hate to see you like this, too," Frigga says. She lifts Loki's hand to her lips and kisses the back of his hand. "I hate to see you in so much pain. Please let us help you. Let Doctor Banner help you. I know you despise the hospital, but I truly think it is necessary."_

_Loki inhales sharply, but he nods. "I have been…" He sighs, thinking of a good word to describe his current situation, but he clearly comes up with nothing. "I have been in a bad place lately. I have been thinking about Sigyn a lot and thinking of her makes me sad."_

"_I know," Frigga says._

"_I'll go with Doctor Banner," Loki concludes._

"_You're doing the right thing," Odin says._

"_Why don't you go to your room and pack yourself a bag," Banner says, "your parents and I still have a few details to discuss."_

_Loki doesn't respond. He stands and walks out of the kitchen. Thor quickly rises from his seat as well. "I'll go and help Loki," he says before hurrying from the kitchen as well. As he makes his way upstairs – towards Loki's bedroom – he feels a moment of freedom. He can breathe better and some of the tension slips from his shoulders because he knows Loki will get help again. There is hope again._

_He knocks on his brother's door, but he doesn't wait for a reaction. He opens the door and finds Loki collecting a few shirts and pants. His head is bowed and his black hair covers most of his face. Thor can still see tears roll down Loki's cheeks, though, and he somehow feels he is the reason for them. He is the reason Loki is crying because he didn't keep his promise._

"_Do you hate me?" Thor hears himself ask. He hadn't actually intended for the question to slip from his tongue._

"_No," Loki answers. He still doesn't look up to meet his brother's blue eyes. Instead he gathers a few sweaters and throws them in a bag as well. "I don't hate you, Thor, I could never hate you."_

"_I would understand if you did," Thor tells him. He thinks of their parents sitting downstairs with Doctor Banner and he wonders what they are talking about. The extent of Loki's stay in the hospital? The types of medicine Loki will be forced to take? "I'm really sorry, Loki, for breaking my promise."_

_Loki shrugs. "I know why you did it," he says quietly, "and it hurts, but then again, the truth often hurts."_

_Thor nods. __"Have you really been thinking about Sigyn again so much?" __He asks. He leans against the wall as he scrutinizes his brother's every move. He can tell Loki tensed when he heard her name. Thor faintly wonders if Loki would be in this mess if Sigyn had never had that accident._

"_I always think about her, Thor," Loki says after a short silence, "it's the type of thoughts that changes." He stops packing a bag and finally turns to face his brother. He looks exhausted and resigned. "I often think about old memories. I remember when we played outside as kids. I remember watching movies when we grew older. But now I only think of her dying. I wonder what her last thought was or if she was in any pain." __He bites down on his lip, a thought clearly on his mind, but he appears uncertain on whether or not he wants to share it.__ "__I think… I think about what it would be like to have died with her." _

_Thor has no words for that._

_Loki chuckles with humor. __He returns his gaze to his bag, checking the contents.__ "I know I need help," he says, throwing a toothbrush in the bag, "but it's very hard to admit that. Who does like to admit that they are broken?"_

"_You're not broken." Thor walks towards Loki and places his hands on his shoulders. He waits until Loki looks up to meet his gaze. "You are not broken, Loki, do you hear me? You're just going through another rough period. Doctor Banner will help you. Our parents will help you. And you have me, do you understand?" Thor pulls his little brother close, embracing him tightly. "You'll always have me."_

_Loki accepts the embrace. "Thank you, brother," he says and he sounds a bit more energized, "that means a lot."_

~ 0 ~

History class ends and the students all leave to head to their third period. It's math, so they have to get to the other side of the building in less than three minutes. It's nearly impossible, but no one minds of course. Thor takes a hold of Sif's hand, but just before he exits the classroom, Mr. Coulson calls his name. Thor turns around and walks towards the teacher.

Coulson waits until they are alone – though Sif is standing just outside. "Thor, I wanted to ask how you are."

Thor sighs. He should have seen this coming and he really isn't in the mood to have this kind of talk. He has already received enough sympathies for one day. He can't take any more because he fears he'll burst and shout for everyone to shut up. They don't understand after all. They don't know what he's going through. How can they?

"I'm fine, Mr. Coulson," Thor replies politely. He hopes that answer will satisfy him. "Of course the situation isn't easy, but…I'm fine."

Coulson can see straight through his act. He even raises one eyebrow, but he doesn't ask any more questions. He doesn't prod Thor for the truth"If there is ever anything I can do, let me know," he says, "I also want you to know that if you have any questions about the material you missed the past two weeks, you can always ask me."

"Thanks, I will," Thor replies, but he already knows he'll never ask Coulson for extra information or explanation. "I actually have math right now and I hate to be late." Another lie. "I'll see you tomorrow, Mr. Coulson."

He walks out of the classroom, finding Sif just outside waiting for him. He pulls her close and they slowly walk towards their next class. They are already five minutes late, but Thor couldn't care less. He enjoys the short moment of silence and he enjoys Sif's presence. He's struggling, however. He can feel this and he knows he's about to break down.

The sudden helplessness feels like a pair of cold, clammy hands tightening around his throat. He can barely breathe and so he halts. Sif turns to look at him, her brown gaze filled with nothing but concern. Thor faintly wonders if this is what Loki saw in everyone's eyes. Concern. Fear. Sorrow.

"Thor?"

"I need a moment," Thor tells her. He watches Sif step closer towards him. She puts her arms around his shoulders and holds him. It's a simple gesture, but it's comforting and Thor is grateful to have such a supporting, understanding friend with him at this dire hour. "I'm glad that I'm back here, but somehow it feels different."

"We can skip math if you want to," Sif says, "we can find a quiet place for a moment and talk."

"Yeah," Thor sighs, "I would like that."

They find an abandoned classroom in the next hallway. They sneak inside and carefully close the door behind them. Thor takes a seat near the window and stares outside. There is a group of students playing baseball and the teacher is laughing about a kid who has the funniest way of holding the bat. Thor wonders when the last time was that he laughed, but he can't even remember. Again he wonders if Loki has had similar thoughts at one point in his life.

"No one will disturb us," Sif assures him. She takes a seat next to him, her hand finding his way towards his. "Talk to me, Thor, tell me what you're thinking."

"You know what I'm thinking of," he replies sharply. He hadn't meant to sound rude, but sometimes he has enough of people acting so caring around him. He feels like people suddenly think he is made of glass. He isn't fragile and he doesn't want sad faces all around him. His own sadness is enough to deal with. "You know _who_ I am thinking of."

"You're not still feeling guilty, are you?" Sif asks. "Because what happened is your fault."

"I'm not naïve," Thor says, "and I'm not even selfish enough to claim that it is entirely my fault, but I did betray him, didn't I? I made him a promise, Sif, and I broke it."

"You've told me about that," Sif says quietly, "and you also told me that Loki never blamed you."

"Of course he did," Thor replies angrily, "but he was tired of worrying us all. He would never admit that he blamed me because he knew I already worried enough about him. But the truth remains that he was sent to the hospital because of me. He was forced to stay in that place for five weeks. Because of _me_. I broke my promise."

"And you think that is why Loki killed himself?" Sif asks.

"Not the only reason," Thor sighs. He buries his face in the palms of his hands and forces himself to take in a few deep breaths. He realizes he hasn't really talked to anyone about Loki recently. Of course he has talked to his parents about him. He has talked to Doctor Banner about him, but not to his friends or teachers.

"You told me Loki came home as a better person," Sif says, sounding confused, "you said he looked happier. He took his medication and he followed his psychiatrist's advice. You said he was getting better."

"Yes," Thor admitted, "he did appear better. He smiled more, but then…then he fell into the pit again."

Sif frowned and swallowed heavily. "I don't understand."

"Loki once tried to explain to me what he was always going through," Thor explains, ""he told me how he was always in a pit, trying to reach the surface where he would feel the warmth of sunlight again. If he reached the sunshine, he would be happy, but he told me that he never reaches the surface because as he climbs up, he loses grip and he falls back into the darkness."

Sif doesn't say anything. She stares at Thor who is grateful that she's not crying.

"When Loki returned from the hospital," he continues, "he nearly reached that sunlight. I think he was so close that he could feel distant warmth. He was _so_ close, but somehow he slipped again and he fell. I think he broke in that moment. I think he lost all hope. He didn't bother trying to climb. He was just tired of trying over and over again."

"I'm so sorry," Sif whispered.

"I miss him, Sif," he says. He inhales sharply, but he feels the walls around him crashing down. He feels tears sting his eyes and he doesn't bother to force them away. He's all alone with his girlfriend after all and she has seen him cry enough these past two weeks. "I'd give anything to see him again, to talk to him one last time. I wish- I wish-" He can't complete his sentence. He just cries.

They don't go to any more classes that day.

Because Thor cries and he can't stop.

~ 0 ~

3 months later

~ 0 ~

The house is quiet when Thor comes home from school. He enters the kitchen, hoping to find his mother there, but he sees no one. He searches the living room, the bathroom, the garden. He goes up the stairs, intending to enter his parent's bedroom, when he hears Frigga's voice coming from a little room at the end of the corridor. It's where the sheets and linen are kept, along with other old stuff no one wants anymore.

At least, that is what Thor thought.

"Here you are," he says as he walks into the room.

Frigga sits on the floor, boxes and papers all around her. She wears casual clothes which tell Thor she has been home for a while already. He wonders if she went to work today, knowing that she's still struggling with Loki's death. They are all still struggling, but Thor feels like he is finally regaining grip on life. He can finally see a light at the end of the tunnel. He knows a time will come where he won't hurt every day.

"Come sit with me for a moment," Frigga invites him. She pushes aside some of the papers so that Thor can come and sit next to her. When he does so, she smiles at him and it's a genuine smile, not a fake one she has become so good at. Thor hates to see her fake smile, but he's grateful that she never threw him one. She never put up a façade for him. "I want to show you something," she adds.

Thor raises one eyebrow, but he understands what she means when she hands him a picture. It's old. Really old. It shows Thor as a small boy – perhaps two years old – with a small bundle in his arms. The bundle is Loki and his little hands are grasping Thor's long, blond hair. Thor wishes he could remember that moment.

"Loki had just been really sick," Frigga tells him. She gazes at the picture, her smile still firmly in place. "He had a fever and he lost a bit of weight because he refused to eat. Your father and I were very worried about him. But after a week he got better, but he still cried a lot. Then your father put him in your arms and he started to giggle."

Thor can't believe that this is the first time he is hearing this story. He wonders if there are more like these, because he wants to hear them all. Then he realizes that his mother is talking about her youngest son and she isn't on the verge of bursting into tears. Thor looks at her and for a moment he thinks she is happy again, but he knows that's not the case. Frigga won't ever be truly happy again because she thinks she doesn't deserve it. And when she _will_ be happy again, she'll feel guilty about it.

"Look at this one," Thor says, picking up another picture lying around. It is still an old photo, but Thor is older here. He looks around five so he should remember this, but Thor's mind comes up empty. "I'm crying here," he continues, "why am I crying."

Frigga chuckles as she takes the picture from Thor. "You're five here," she explains. She stares at the picture for a short moment, then sighs. "This picture is taken in Greece. We were on a holiday there because friends had just bought a small vacation house. You're crying because Loki just pushed you into the swimming pool and at the time, you were still afraid of swimming. Loki felt so bad about what he had done that he jumped in right after you. Loki was only three, but he was a good swimmer."

That does ring a faint bell. It's only images that he remembers. A certain room. Sunlight. Thor remembers going on a vacation there as a child, but that is about it. He doesn't remember the details. He is drawn out of his thoughts when Frigga hands him a third photo. It shows Thor and Loki lying in bed together, a blanket surrounding them.

"That's taken the same day Loki threw you into the pool," Frigga explains, "it was already late and you boys were very tired. Your father and I were downstairs and suddenly, the house grew so silent. We thought something had happened, because you two usually made so much noise so we came to find you. And there you were. You're reading Loki his favorite story- Well, not actually reading it. You couldn't read yet, but you had heard it so many times before that you already knew it by heart." Frigga takes Thor's hand into her own and squeezes it gently. "Your father took that picture," she adds.

Thor sucks in a deep breath. He doesn't know the last time he's had a conversation like this with his mother, but he's enjoying it and he hopes it will continue for a little while longer. "How is Dad?" He asks. "I know he's…hiding from me."

"He's not hiding, Thor," Frigga replies softly.

"I've not seen him cry since Loki's funeral," Thor says. He doesn't know why that matters. It shouldn't matter whether his father has cried or not during the last few months. Tears aren't proof of someone's heartache. He knows Odin misses his youngest son and he knows he is hurting. All Thor wishes is that his father wouldn't hide it from him. There was no need after all.

"Come here," Frigga says. She pulls him into a firm embrace, her thin fingers sliding through his blond hair. "Your father loved Loki very much and I know he hasn't…mentioned him a lot lately, but that's only because it hurts him too much." She pauses and Thor can hear her breathing quickening. "He will hate me for telling you this because he has tried to hide it from you, but not a day has gone by where your father hasn't cried."

"We all miss him," Thor sighs.

They sit there for a while, simply enjoying each other's company. Eventually Frigga lets go of him and they look at more pictures. Frigga tells him stories of Loki's childhood. She tells him about his favorite food or how he used to grow angry whenever Thor wasn't paying him enough attention. Thor loves hearing these tales and he can't help but think that Loki would have loved hearing them as well.

"Well," Frigga announces after an hour, "I need to get dinner ready."

"I'll put all the pictures back in the boxes," Thor offers. He already starts to collect them all when Frigga places a quick and loving kiss on his cheek. She stands, ready to walk out of the little room when another thought crashes into Thor's mind. "Mom?"

Frigga stops, turns around and waits for Thor to speak again.

"Thinking of Loki… It hurts more than I thought possible," Thor begins, unsure of what he actually wants to tell his mother, "because it forces us to remember the fact that he killed himself. Remembering him makes us realize that we'll never create any new memories of him." He swallows heavily, feeling the weight of his mother's gaze crushing him, but he feels the needs to tell her this. "But today, for the first time, we remembered Loki and we didn't cry. For the first time, we smiled again, together. Thank you for that."

Frigga walks back towards her son and wraps her arms around him even though he is sitting on the floor and she is standing. She presses a kiss to the top of his head and when she lets go of him, Thor is relieved that she's not crying. He doesn't want to see her cry, not now.

"I love you, Thor," she tells him, "don't ever forget it."

"I love you, too."

~ 0 ~

9 months later

~ 0 ~

Everything is quiet, but that doesn't bother Thor. He is holding Sif's hand in his and he enjoys her presence. He's glad she is with him and he feels incredibly lucky that she hasn't left him because he knows he's been a terrible boyfriend. But here she is standing, in a white dress and her hair loose around her shoulders. When she feels Thor's gaze on her, she turns to look at him and she smiles.

Thor smiles back and then focuses on his parents standing at his other side. They are holding hands as well and Frigga's head is resting against Odin's shoulder. They look calm and serene, and Thor can only guess what they are thinking. He does know who they are thinking about.

He lowers his gaze and stares at the marble square. Loki's name is engraved in it, as well as the date of his birth and death. It's hard looking at it, but over the past few months, Thor has grown…used to it. It is there and that is that. Today is a special day, however, which makes standing here more difficult.

Today marks the one year anniversary of Loki's death. Thor finds it odd to think of it as an anniversary. It makes it sound as if there should be celebrating. That's not the case of course. Today is spent in silence and sorrow.

"We miss you, Loki," Thor says, feeling the need to break the silence. They have been standing there for over an hour already, but no one had spoken a word yet. Thor is glad that he's the first to speak and he's glad that his words were nothing but the truth.

"Indeed," Odin agrees, "it is very quiet around the house now."

Frigga nods. "But we think of you every day."

Thor puts an arm around Sif's bare shoulders and pulls her closer. "Let's go home," he says, his gaze falling on every face around him. He sees Frigga's heartache. He notices Odin's teary eyes. When he looks at Sif, she offers him a faint smile, but she looks solemn and sad, too. "I want to look at those pictures again, Mom," he adds, "I want you and Dad to tell more stories of when Loki and I were young."

"That sounds like a marvelous plan," Frigga replies. She and Odin make their way out of the cemetery, hand in hand. It's almost strange to think that Loki's death has brought them closer together. They aren't necessarily happier, but they express their love for one another more often now.

"Goodbye, brother," Thor says, hoping that Loki can actually hear him somewhere. He enjoys the idea that he's never truly alone. He enjoys the idea that somewhere, Loki is watching over him, together with Sigyn and perhaps with their grandparents. Thor finds comfort in that thought. "I'll see you around."

~ 0 ~

The End.

~ 0 ~


End file.
